Nov 28, 2012

Exercising Restraint in the Workplace

Millie V. QS2

Have you ever had breakfast while you are simmering or stewing in anger and you're trying to keep the anger from spewing like hot molten lava?  I just did, this very morning.  It was not an easy feat, I assure you.  Exercising restraint is not for the weak at heart.  But it's something I had to do to prevent from hurting people's feelings even if I felt slighted.

You see, I am a person who highly values other people's sense of space and time.  We have this invisible perimeter around us that if others start to encroach on without our permission, we tend to react or defend that space if we must.  It goes the same with time.  In the office set-up, we are all familiar with setting of appointments.  We do that because we take into consideration that other people may already have plans, particularly those who are busy.  But even those who are not that busy, I think they deserve some respect with regards to time and availability.  You don't just barge into anyone, unless it's a matter of life and death or something close to that.

So why was I stewing this morning and keeping things from boiling?  It's because something was imposed on me, without my prior consent.  I was put in a situation where someone took the liberty of committing me to a task, and informing me just two hours before the schedule.  Now, don't get me wrong.  I am fairly accommodating when it comes to work and I could very much handle spur of the moment assignments.  Things that needed immediate attention, I'll be there in a flash.  But this task is nothing of the sort and since I was already committed without my knowledge, I just tried to haggle if I could just attend to it after lunch...only to find out I had no other recourse.  Talk about being trapped into something you never signed up for in the first place.

So imagine me, eating while upset.  One thing I learned is when I am feeling anger welling up, as much as I can, I refrain from talking.  However, I put my foot down on this and said with finality that I will let this pass, do what I have to do but this is going to be the last time it's going to happen this way.  I will not let people trample on my time for something that requires no urgency at all.  Afterwards, I barely uttered words while distracting myself with the food I am eating. 

I just hope I got the message across  There's an underlying tone in my voice as well, which I hope the person I intended it for will realize that though I am a friend and I am nice to certain degrees, I need to be given choices and not to be pushed around by someone who's not my boss.  Over familiarity sometimes works to a certain disadvantage.  My saving grace is prayer which I did while trying to calm down.  I also value the friendship of one who's involved in this and I didn't want to put a crack in the crystal, so to speak.  I just hope that as I learned the value of controlling and dissipating negative emotions, some people also learned to respect other people's time.

I am still upset, actually....but this will pass.  It just takes me longer to let go, but when I do, I can forget about that...unless someone reminds me again.


  1. It is really not a good feeling to start and end the day on a negative note. Good thing you were able to write about it and express your feelings professionally . Or else that would have triggered your health issues.

    Hope you ended the day with a light note. And good thing you find time to run as that will be the best way to throw your worries and stress away.

    1. I was ranting again hehehe...But then, I chose to write about this as a reminder to myself. Writing about it gives me a better perspective of things, sort of like analyzing myself also. It helped, letting it out. It also gave me an insight. There's probably a better way of dealing with this next time it happens.

  2. Hello spammers. Save your energy trying to leave comments here. It won't get published if you're going under the Anonymous name and not placing your valid email address.

    Why this particular post is popular to spammers is simply beyond me, particularly this Chuck guy who keeps coming back. Man! You must love this blog post lol! Get over it now...move is beautiful.